Becoming Lighter


Stay with Your Broken Heart

“To stay with that shakiness–to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge–that is the path of true awakening.  Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic–this is the spiritual path.”

~Pema Chodron


Over the summer, I felt called to deepen my practice.  In doing so I uncovered a dark, painful place, the place connected to my intermittent problems with depression.


My heart cracked open.  I felt broken.  I struggled with my mood for weeks.  It’s not easy to maintain serenity in this condition!


I am very blessed to have a teacher and guide, Lama Thupten.  He told me to practice more compassion towards myself, to practice more lovingkindness.  He said that until I love myself I can’t be of service to help others.  I knew this but I needed to hear it again in order to continue on my path.


And then the next day I went on a hot air balloon ride.  There is nothing so wonderful as being quietly airborne.


I can feel myself becoming lighter.





  1. Petrea on August 24, 2012 at 9:46 am

    This is all part of the journey to Self though isn’t it Loran? We expereince the downs and rise from them. Beautifully shared.

  2. Loran Hills on August 24, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Yes, Petrea, the never-ending spiral of growth is beautiful to behold.

  3. Tanya on August 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    What a beautiful illustration of the ebb and flow of our spiritual practice. Going deeper, like searching for buried treasure, brings more muck and more beauty.
    Thanks for Illuminating Spiritual Practice, it helped keep me grounded and you taught us all to be more compassionate with ourselves.
    xo Tanya

    • Loran Hills on August 24, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you, Tanya, for being such an enthusiastic follower!

  4. Pam on August 25, 2012 at 3:28 am

    thanks Loran for giving a safe place to go into ourselves .

    Your sharing and openess has helped so much
    love Pam

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