Stay with Your Broken Heart
“To stay with that shakiness–to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge–that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic–this is the spiritual path.”
Over the summer, I felt called to deepen my practice. In doing so I uncovered a dark, painful place, the place connected to my intermittent problems with depression.
My heart cracked open. I felt broken. I struggled with my mood for weeks. It’s not easy to maintain serenity in this condition!
I am very blessed to have a teacher and guide, Lama Thupten. He told me to practice more compassion towards myself, to practice more lovingkindness. He said that until I love myself I can’t be of service to help others. I knew this but I needed to hear it again in order to continue on my path.
And then the next day I went on a hot air balloon ride. There is nothing so wonderful as being quietly airborne.
I can feel myself becoming lighter.