An unruly fury,
a mighty force,
shapeshifts on the night wind,
reckless and untamed.
Wilderness breathes me.
I’m part of an emerging paradigm of conscious aging, diving deeply into the wild and true, and addressing the need for spirituality, connection, examination and guidance. I’ve got motivation, energy and a sense of purpose.
Nature photography is my passion. I continuously observe the cycles of nature as seasons change. When I’m taking pictures, my mind quiets and I become more present. I have a relationship with nature that guides me through the wheel of life.
All of the pictures in my posts are mine unless otherwise noted.
I wrote this About Past Me:
Sweat, blood and tears, that’s what it took to gain rank in Tang Soo Do. My life was in turmoil. I was going through a divorce and a feminist rage stage. I was pissed off all the time about everything when I walked in to sign up for karate classes. Underneath it all, feelings of shame and inadequacy were welling up in me again.
I was terrified. PE was torture for me when I was a klutzy kid. Balls hit me in the head because I couldn’t catch them, I was always picked last for the team and teased mercilessly. My instructors didn’t think I’d last two weeks. Through sheer stubbornness and persistence, I trained over five years.
Four or five days a week, an hour and a half each class, I channeled my intense feelings through punching and kicking. Transforming all the aggression into physical action saved me from completely losing my mind. I’ve never worked so hard or been so proud to pass a test. My pain tolerance increased through constant bruising, a black eye and a broken toe. My balance, strength and coordination improved by leaps and bounds. I ran and lifted weights, too. No longer feeling vulnerable, I sized up men as opponents.
Gradually my rage died down to a slow burn and I moved on emotionally after my divorce. Exercise became a routine part of my life until I had children which is another story for a different day. There are days when I feel intense frustration or anger and wish I could return to karate. I can’t physically do it any more but, once upon a time, I was a badass before it was a thing.